Shut Down

I sometimes feel that I'm slowly falling apart. I keep weaving the leaves of my past together. I want to hide in the shade of these memories. The times I keep creating seem so jumbled and meshed together, that telling them apart is like finding a needle in a haystack. When I lay down to sleep, thoughts are painted across the walls in the shadows from the lights of passing cars. When I dream, I dream of you. Always of you and the way I let my feelings spill out of my soul. Those feelings linger and crush me when I wake up, because it's the words I'll never be able to say to you. You will never hear or feel the love I have for you. I brought this on myself. I can still picture your face and the way your eyes hook onto me and never lose focus. I remember the warmth from your body and the safety and security I crave. Only you, and you alone know all the demons that hide in my head. You accepted them before and you always reassured me that it would always be okay with you there. Now that your heart and soul can endure no more of me, I'm abandoned by the one who believed in me.