Sunday, December 28, 2014

How Your Song Saved Her Soul


She waited nervously sitting on a park bench. She had her legs crossed at the ankles and her hands folded in her lap. Sometimes, she would occasionally spread out the made-up wrinkles in her dress. Her nervous ticks were showing. Her heart was beating faster as each minute passed by. The orange-red mess of a sky began to shine across the skyline of the trees. A mix of orange and green colors blending into a beautiful, peaceful moment, one she would never forget. The night began to engulf the day. The scent of cotton candy, a red velvety scent, was swirling around her. Her skin glowed with excitement. She brushed the hair on the right side of her face behind her ear. She smiled to herself. She took a deep breath and controlled her breathing. She glanced around at her surroundings. She was alone, but not for long, she thought to herself. She began to hum a familiar tune to herself, leaned back against the bench, looked at the sky, and then opened her mouth to sing. A sound so beautiful formed against her red-lipstick covered lips. She sang as loud as she wanted to sing, because it was just her and the audience of nature. She stood up off the bench and spread out her arms and spun around in a circle a couple times. She laughed a little bit, but she continued to sing.

She heard footsteps walking closer to her. She turned around excited, but it wasn’t whom she was expecting. He stood there in a t-shirt with a black vest, and jeans that were fit perfect to his tall and lean legs. She noticed his smile first, but when she finally looked at him directly, his green eyes pierced her soul. She took a step back and placed her hands behind her back. She was acting shy. She looked down at her feet, but he took a step forward and lifted up her chin, so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. He smiled again. Her cheeks flushed red in response. That’s when she noticed a strap across his chest; he was carrying something behind his back. His eyes followed her gaze. He smiled again. He pulled the guitar from his back and offered to play a song for her. She took a step back, she was acting shy again. She slightly nodded in response. He motioned for her to sit on the bench, so she complied.

He placed the guitar on top of his knee and began strumming the chords. When he played, the sound that came out was just as beautiful as her song. Her heart leaped inside of her chest. She continued to listen. She closed her eyes soaking in every sound, she felt a little embarrassed, like she was listening to a piece of his soul. That’s when something she was expecting happened. He began to sing! She opened her eyes quickly and locked her eyes onto him. She noticed the corners of his lips turn up; he had noticed her surprised expression. She looked away quickly knowing she had been caught. He continued to sing. The melody was caressing her ears. When the song became familiar, she opened her mouth, took a deep breath, and she sang along with him. He paused for a brief moment; finally, she had surprised him, but after the brief pause they continued to sing together.

In the middle of their song, the park lamps began to turn on one-by-one. They paused and looked up at the lights, then looked at each other, and then laughed. She hadn’t realized a long amount of time had passed. He walked towards her and sat next to the empty space right beside her on the park bench. She shifted away from him a little, the nervous ticks beginning again. He smiled and asked for her name. She looked up at him and the expression she displayed was more of a realization expression, because she realized they were strangers. How could she forget such a thing? She thought. That’s when she realized something else the person whom she had been waiting this entire time had not shown up. She bit her lip in frustration.

He noticed the expression on her face and held out his hand. She looked at him confused. He sat up straight, cleared his throat, and introduced himself formally. She laughed a little bit, but then sat up straight, cleared her voice, and introduced herself. They exchanged greetings, but then he asked the most important question of all, “Why are you out here alone?” Her smile faded and she remembered the letter, the roses, and the apology that was inscribed inside. She was waiting for someone who was never going to show, but she came out and waited for a ghost. His face became serious and he outstretched his arms and held her close as she began to weep. He rested his chin on her head and felt each tear soak into the fibers of his clothes on his chest. For what seemed like hours passing by, but in reality only minutes had passed, she cried into the arms of this wonderful stranger. When she could cry no more, she looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. He wiped her tears away and offered to walk her home. She nodded. He helped her up and held onto her hand as he led her out of the park. She felt warm and safe that way.

When they reached the entrance of the park, a black expensive car pulled up. They stopped and looked curiously at the out-of-place car. The driver stepped out and called her name. She nodded. He walked around and opened the door for her. She looked at the wonderful stranger holding her hand in disbelief. Both of them didn’t know what to do. She called out to the driver who it was from and where she was going. The driver replied. She froze instantly at the recognition of the name. The driver took a couple steps towards her and handed her a note. It was another apology, she already knew. She took a step back and let go of his hand. The feelings inside her began to swirl inside like a tornado that was causing chaos and destruction. She glanced at both options. She took a deep breath and then walked ahead of the car. Both the driver and the wonderful stranger stood still. She smiled, motioned for the wonderful stranger, and started to continue walking on their original destination.

He didn’t realize what she meant at first, but when it registered inside of his head he quickly responded to her invitation. When he reached her, he grabbed her hand, and they both smiled at each other. Instead of walking her home, he mentioned a piano bar that was around the neighborhood. She laughed a little bit, intrigued at the offer, so she agreed. When she entered the bar, there were tables set up with small lamps in the center and used cigarette ashtrays dispersed throughout the tables. The lights were dimly lit, the sole lighting source being directed at the stage. It smelled of fancy liquor and cigarettes, but the smell didn’t bother her. People were socially scattered throughout the bar, sitting, standing, dancing, and even some singing at the top of their drunken lungs. He walked her to the front, closer to the stage, and seated her at the table that said, “Reserved”. She gave him a disconcerting look, but he reassured her that she was okay. He sat next to her and watched the act continue. The entertainer was playing an up-beat piano song, so she couldn’t help but tap her foot to the beat.

When the entertainer finished his song, he glanced at us and gave a huge smile. He stood up dramatically from the piano and motioned for the bar to look at the table in the front. Wait… she thought, he was motioning to her table. She flushed red. He introduced the next act and when her wonderful stranger’s name came out she looked at him with surprise written all over her face. He smiled a goofy smile and then jumped up onto the stage. He bowed and waved at the audience. He then walked over to the piano and sat down. He looked at her and winked. She smiled in response. His facial expression became serious and he began to play a familiar tune. She recognized it as the song they sang at the park. Then abruptly he stopped playing. He turned to her and then to the audience and said he couldn’t play without someone singing. Everyone in the bar got quiet. He then started to introduce someone with a beautiful voice, a voice that could stop anyone in their tracks; a voice that could send shivers down anyone’s spine, a voice that is wonderful. When he called out the name, no one in the crowd moved. Everyone began to look around, but he introduced the name again. It wasn’t until the third time that she realized he had called her name. She sat in disbelief. He held out his hand to her and he nodded. She shook her head no. No one had heard her voice before, well, except for him. She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand. He led her to the front of the stage. He let go and walked back around to the seat of the piano. Her nerves were exploding inside of her body, she felt petrified and scared. She bet the crowd could see it on her face too.

The music started to play, the familiar tune of the wonderful stranger. She didn’t want to ruin his beautiful song, so she took a deep breath, opened her mouth, and sang. When the words came out of her mouth, the entire bar stopped. They all looked up at her singing, their facial expressions blank. Was that a good thing? She thought to herself.  She didn’t react. Instead, she continued to sing, while she put a piece of her soul into the song. When the last note was played, she looked at the crowd and no one moved. It wasn’t until they erupted in cheers when she realized she was holding her breath. She exhaled and looked at the wonderful stranger. He grabbed her hand and they faced the crowd and gave a theatric bow. The crowd cheered wildly for them, but most importantly, for her. She smiled and curtsied and he led her off of the stage. When they made it to the floor, she turned to him and hugged him in excitement. She realized what she had done and stepped back quickly. He opened his mouth to tell her something, but instead she heard her name being yelled from across the room.

She turned around and looked through the crowd, but she couldn’t see anyone she knew. She heard her name being called again. Finally, she noticed a man in a dark blue suit and tie walking towards her, his hair slicked back, and his crystal blue eyes locked in only on her. He was waving one of his arms to draw attention to him, but he didn’t have to do that, since he was the only one who stood out in this kind of place. She stood frozen. It was him. The one she was escaping tonight. Out of all places why was she seeing him here. When he finally reached the two of them, he was excited about her new found voice. She stood there annoyed, scared, and nervous. She tried to explain to him that he never once wanted her to sing to him or to anyone, so how could he have known that she could. He laughed, trying to play it off and called her “Baby” which rolled out of his mouth each time like a snake. She shook her head and opened her mouth to bid him farewell, until a woman in a short shiny-sequined covered dress approached them. She called him “darling” and “sweetheart” in a voice too annoying to want to hear more than once. The man in the suit was the one who looked nervous now instead of her and tried to persuade her he didn’t know who the sequined-dress woman was, while the sequined dress woman slapped him and stormed out of the bar while a couple guys followed after her.

That is when the wonderful stranger turned her around and kissed her, both surprising her and the man in the suit. She flailed for a second, but then realized she was secretly waiting to kiss him all night. She gave in. The man in the suit was furious so he pulled them apart and swung at the guy. The wonderful stranger ducked just in time to miss the punch that was aimed at his face. The wonderful stranger grabbed her hand and told her to run as he pulled her along with him out of the bar. Once they were outside, they took off in an unknown direction. When they finally realized they made it far away from the bar, they stopped while of both of them were out of breath and panting. For a second they paused and looked at each other, then began to laugh hysterically at the thought of their exciting adventure. After they were done laughing, he asked if she had enough adventure for one night, so that he could take her home. She didn’t realize how tired she was until he pointed it out. She looked at her feet, her heels were run down and her feet were covered in dirt. She nodded and agreed to finally go home.

He began to walk her home and when he realized how tired she must be he commanded her to get on top of his back so he could carry her home. She was embarrassed and shy at first, but he said he wouldn’t move until she was on his back, so she complied. He walked them home, both of them silent for a while. When they reached the front steps of her porch he put her down onto the sidewalk, so she could walk to her front door. He walked with her and they looked at each other, but he said goodnight and started to walk away. He didn’t kiss her. She was confused. She watched him walk to the sidewalk and take his leave, while she was on the front steps standing in silence. She called out to him and asked why. He replied to her that when he meets her again then he’ll take her into his arms and keep her forever that was his condition. All she could do was nod.

As she continued to watch him, an excruciatingly loud beeping sound was sounding off in her ears. She covered both of her ears and squinted in pain. When she opened her eyes, she was staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. The beeping sound was still yelling at her to turn it off. She rolled over in bed and looked at her phone; it was 6:58am. She groaned and turned off the alarm. She rolled out of bed and walked to her bathroom. She sat on her toilet for a while trying to recall her dream. It was nothing but a blur. She probably drank too much wine again last night. She sighed. She quickly forgot about the dream and began to get ready for work. She made her way to the kitchen and poured a glass of red moscato wine. She sipped it slowly. As she finished the cup of wine, she threw the cup into the sink and made her way out the door.
It was in the dead of winter, so it was extremely cold outside. She walked passed a snow covered park and she stopped dead in her tracks. It reminded her of warmth. She stood there awhile trying to recall her thoughts. Instead of making it to work on time, she walked deeper into the park. She came across a snow covered bench and she couldn’t place where she had seen this before. It was familiar. She was frustrated because she couldn’t remember. That’s when she walked to the bench and traced her fingers against the edges of the bench. She started to hum a song, but what song was this? She thought to herself. She turned to walk away. She had enough of the cold biting at her skin. She made her way to the front entrance of the park. She glanced back at the park once then continued on her way to work. She took a couple steps, when she heard someone playing the guitar.
She followed the sound. The sound was attached to a man. He was sitting in a small café, playing a guitar and singing out his heart. She walked into the café and he stopped as soon as she walked in. He looked at her once then started playing his guitar again. She recognized it instantly. It was the tune she was singing at the park! She walked closer entranced by his music. He then opened his mouth and he sang, but when he did, her dream hit her like a brick wall. Every piece of her dream flooded back into her head. She had to sit down to process everything and he carefully watched her. After she remembered everything, she looked up at him and she took a deep breath, and she started to sing. He smiled, because now she confirmed his hopes. When the song ended and the café clapped intensely. He stood up and walked towards her. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead she grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his. When she pulled away from him, she looked into his eyes and said, “Your song saved my soul,” and then they kissed again.              

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Dreams: The Girl in the Dark Green Dress


He stood in the doorway unable to talk himself into walking into the house. Why couldn’t he move forward? He took a deep sigh and contemplated turning around on his heels to just leave. That’s when an image of her flashed inside of his head. He stood up straight and thought to himself, Oh, that’s right SHE is going to be here. He took a couple steps into the entrance way. It was progress. That is when he heard a familiar voice call out his name. He looked up and saw his brother walking towards him. This was the younger brother, but only by months apart. He let out a sigh again. His brother took him by the arm and began to drag him to the dining room where the rest of the voices were coming from. He saw familiar faces and returned each smile that the people in the room were sending towards him. The younger brother let go of his arm and looked to him and mouthed the words, “Don’t worry.” He nodded. That is when he noticed the bar in the back of the room. His feet didn’t have to register the signals his mind was sending, that was the destination he wanted to go. He reached the bar and grabbed the whiskey from the shelf. He popped the lid off and sat in the back of the room watching the familiar strangers’ converse with one another. She wasn’t here. He took a swig. It is better for both of us that she isn’t here. He took another swig. He continued to sit at the back of the room and drink away his thoughts.

+---------------+
She stood in the hallway. She stopped dead in her tracks. She heard his name being called out in the front of the house. Why is he here? She thought to herself. She could only bear having the younger brother here, but now, both of them were under the same roof as she. She was snapped out of her daydream when a pair hands grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. She was facing the younger brother. He opened his mouth to speak, but she was too much in a daze to register the words that were spoken.
                “Are you even listening to me? Anna you need to listen. Hello,” he had both his hands grasping her shoulders while shaking her with each word he said.
                “Oh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t focus.” She murmured.
                “Anna, Please do not go anywhere near him.” He begged her.
                She began to day dream again and when she came to she let out a sigh, “I understand.”
                “It’ll be the end of you both. You know what will happen,” he bent down to face her directly.
                “I understand,” she repeated again.
She felt the weight begin to tighten in her chest with each breath she began to take. The younger brother let go of her shoulders and walked passed her back into the other room. The chatter continued. With the warning she was just given, she stood in the hallway a moment longer to gather her thoughts.

+-------------+     
He was probably on his twelfth shot of whiskey, when he saw a woman’s figure in a dark green dress enter the room.  He watched her as she cautiously walked into the room and through the people. Her head was held low, while her dark black hair was draped over the sides of her face. She looked familiar he thought. He stood up and wanted to get a closer look at who the woman was, but she had already made it into the next room before he had a chance to look. He took another swig. He began to follow suit of the girl in the dark green dress. When he got to the dining room doorway, a hand grasped on to his arm. He looked back at the owner of the hand. It wasn’t her.  It’s not her. His heart dropped a little bit into his stomach. The owner of the hand mouthed a couple words to him, but the words were wasted. His thoughts were only about her.  Unable to be rude, he stood there in the conversation and pretended to listen. He was waiting for the moment so that he could go find the woman in the dark green dress.

+--------------------+
She had made it successfully into the den without being seen. She took a deep sigh. She felt the weight lift off her shoulders a little bit. She stood next to the table of refreshments and recalled the scene that just played. When she had walked into the room, she noticed him right away. He was sitting there in grey skinny jeans, a mismatched tie, and a fedora on top of his curly hair. She smiled. She noticed in his left hand was a bottle of whiskey. She frowned. She knew exactly how he would get if he would drink.  As long as he didn’t see her, she was safe. She turned to the refreshments table and noticed tubes of liquid sitting in a tray. Alcohol? She thought. She grabbed one and drank it in one gulp. Yep. Definitely alcohol. She grabbed a couple more and drank each one gracefully like the one before it. It wasn’t till there weren’t any left that she realized she had finished the tray. She smiled. She felt numb. She liked feeling numb. A couple seconds later, her cheeks got flushed. She began to feel extremely warm. She needed air, so she set off to the front door. She stumbled a little, but too discreetly for anyone to notice. She made it to the front door. She turned the handle and took a couple steps outside.

+-----------------------+
                He finally saw an opportunity to escape the conversation and escaped by saying he needed air. He smiled to himself. He left the dining room and entered the den. He walked through groups of people and checked beside the refreshment table. The girl in the dark green dress was gone. He turned around and looked towards the doorway. He caught a glimpse of a girl stumbling, heading towards the front door…in a dark green dress. He made his way through the crowds of people, some of them even giving him weird looks, but he didn’t care. He finally made it to the glass door. He turned the handle and took a couple steps outside.
                The girl in the dark green dress was sitting on the front porch with her hands folded in her lap. She was looking towards the sky. Her hair was still draped across the sides of her face, but he could see the smile she wore in the moonlight.  He smiled to himself. He took another swig of whiskey from the bottle.
                “It’s a beautiful night tonight, especially since you’re in it,” he said smoothly.
                “Oh it is, is it…” She chuckled and looked towards him. As soon as she looked at him her smile disappeared in an instant. It’s him. She thought. Her heart fell to the pit of her stomach.
                “It… It’s you.” They both said harmoniously.
                “I saw you and I wanted to find out who you were, but I suppose I should have known the most beautiful girl in the room would’ve been you,” he said as he took a couple steps towards her.
                “I’m so sorry. I better go,” She stood up and dusted herself off and started to make her way to the front door so she could return to the party.
                “Please don’t leave, I have something to say,” He turned towards her and was about to reach out for her, but stopped half way. He tightened his grip and pulled back his hand.
                “I can’t….” She whispered. That was all her heart could let her do.
                “Anna, I need you to forget about me. I need you to move on. We need to be able to come to a party and pretend that we don’t know each other. We need to forget that we ever loved each other. You look at me and every time you do you have to make sure your heart doesn’t break. I don’t want that for you. I want you to be happy. I want you and I to have happy memories and not these. Not the ones where we keep trying to hide from each other,” he said with no breaks for air. He was spilling his soul out to her.
                “Pretend? Really? I don’t want to have to pretend that I don’t know you, because everyone in that room already knows.  Everyone will always know. We can be in a room full of strangers and they would feel the connection we will always have. How is it that I love you more than the world, but you want me to simply forget? How can you be so cruel?” She spat out.
                “Please just listen to me,” He reached out and hugged her, crushing her into his chest. He could smell the familiar shampoo’s scent that lingered in her hair. She didn’t say a word. He continued, “I found happiness. I’m on the other side of the world. I am far away from you. There cannot be something made out of nothing. I am happy. I am without you. Can’t you see your punishing yourself?”
                “I’m… not. I’m not punishing myself. Why would I punish myself with love?” She sobbed.
                “Because the love you have for me will never erase. It will never fade. It will be the poison that corrodes your soul. It’ll be the reason you’ll die,” He said softly in her ear.
                “Then for this one moment, this one moment, hold me like you love me one last time. I’ll let you go, I don’t want to die,” She whispered.
 
                He didn’t say a word and simply obeyed to her last command. He wrapped his arms around her body. She wrapped her arms around his body and rested her head on his chest. A piece of her broke again. A piece of him broke again. They stood like this for what seemed like hours. Secretly, he did not want to let her go, but he had to. He had to let her go, because the ring that was now on his finger bounded him to his happiness. Because of his happiness, he had to let her go, so that in return, she would find her own.

 

Monday, December 8, 2014

夜間の花火

The fire that bent and roared against the night sky,
It danced along while it traced the crevices of your skin,
The burning passion of the touch between our lips.

The smoke that leapt towards the moon,
Signals flared to end things soon,
The way you took each breath was art,
The way your fingertips traced every inch of my skin,

           The fire roared deep within.

Your tongue followed suit to your hands,
The fire raged against the night.
We both gave in,
We didn't fight.
Oh, sweet seduction!
The Stars overlooked the fire's destruction.

The fire grew wild, yet, still tame,
The warmth it provided was to blame.
The fire illuminated the ways of sin,

               The fire roared deep within.

The smoke began to change from black to white,
The fire subsided,
The fire died,
No one knew where we had been,

                The fire roared deep within. 

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Where We'll Shine Out

There you stood in a black tie and a black suit,
      You stood there with your heart in your hands
while the droplets of blood hitting the floor sounded off like drums at the beginning of war.
       I stood across the room with my hands
 plunged deep into my chest
       Why couldn't I pull out my heart to give to you?

I could see your lips move, forming words.
      you extended your arms towards me more and more.
I felt stuck to the floor when I tried to move,
     gravity was holding me down as best as it could.
Deep in my soul, All I wanted to do was run.

There you stood in a black tie and a black suit,
     I told you lies masked over with the gleam in your eyes.
The smile you displayed
      the guilt that overcame me,
Because you didn't know you were being betrayed,

I left my heart inside my chest. I spun around on my heels and I left.