I’m drowning. Suffocating and nauseating. A dark black aura;
following around. A dark cloud. I’m Cursing in silence. Can you see the war in
my head? Follow me around, can you see my shadow; it’s intertwining with the
pull of the heart. I’m lost. Even though the tears keep falling, I’m drowning
in my own despair. You can only see the smiles. I don’t want to die, but in my head
there’s no choice. It’s already made up in my mind. Skin is skin. Why can’t I feel? Why can’t I
feel anything other than desperation and despondency? Can anyone tell? Can
anyone deal? The tears begin to well up in my eyes. My breathing is shallow, I
know it’s time. My fingers detach from my body. My blood begins to coast to the
shore. Not anymore. Please, not anymore.
“Can you close your eyes and picture the future; the future
where you were meant to live. Can you take on the direction of the wind and
stay put in those shoes of stone? Don’t hide anymore. Don’t starve anymore.” You
feel your eyelids fall to the floor, your heart beats counting, one more, one
more…
Wrap yourself in warmth and comfort. Close your eyes it’s
time for slumber. Tomorrow is beyond reach now, take me to my dreams where we
can meet.
I’m trying to recall my dream, trying so hard to force it be
a memory, I’m trying to remember everything you said to me and the way I called
out to you. I don’t want this to fade; it’s the only thing I have left of you.
Keep on smiling, the same way you smiled the day on the green earth when we
laid together without a care in the world. In this world far apart, I’m happy,
but in this world you’re happy. Could this be worse? She pleads to the sky with
the tears in her eyes. “Can you take it all away?!” To loathe a single thing so
much, but to want it to stay in my heart, is this really what it was? Can you
rip my heart free?
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