You're late again.
Don't you pretend that I can't see all the lies you've sold.
It 2 am and you don't respond, I guess I should understand that you're not alone.
I can't help but notice that I'm the love you wish you had, the love you want when its just you inside your head.
I can't help but think of the good memories that we had and that keeps me a float for a while. I think I'm waiting for something that isn't going to happen and that is the down fall of my life. I can't help but think that I'm the emotional mess you seek, something to keep your mind fixated on; to help your life be filled with meaning. You say you can't help but think of me, well, I think of you too. Look at us though, no one has a fucking clue. I'm naive to think that you'd be waiting for me like you said. Its been a couple months, maybe years and you have brought on all of my fears. I can't help but think I'm wasting my time, when you are out laughing and having a great time.
I'm sorry I waited around this long.
I keep thinking that when the day comes and you are in my arms for the first time that you'll know that it was supposed to be me and you. I'm trying to tell myself this isn't the way it is supposed to be, our life is nothing like the movies.
You used to tell me you loved me and now I can't help but think its the regurgitated words that you use too much. It makes me sick, nauseous, like I want to throw up. I'm figuring out my life and there are so many other options, why the hell do I keep giving you chance after chance?
I keep telling myself that it is okay because it is YOU. You have so many holds over me I can't help but buckle every single time. I'm sorry, but c'mon, I have to say goodbye, but don't worry I won't remember you after a few drinks.
Its times like these where I tell myself to grow up, nobody has time for this.
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